Thoughts

You know I've always wondered if it was possible. If one day, as a small project on the side if maybe I could start a magazine. Just a thought.
But the more I ponder upon it the more it unravels to be quite plausible.
The last three months, I have been discreetly working on a magazine. Taking baby steps, and sketching out a solid plan for my goal.
But as we all know, human nature makes it difficult to keep life according to plan. Unless of course you have rigor and discipline, which I cannot possibly have with my lifestyle.
The small things I've discovered.
Keep relations with everyone. I simply cannot emphasize how important this is. Social skills are the essentials to trying to start not just a magazine but anything. So many people I am thankful to have in my life are providing me with concise advice and supplying with aid. I love em to death for just being there and believing.
Which leads me to belief. Not one person on this earth that you don't know believes in you, and that's not them to blame. It's yourself. You can't go soaring into a project with high expectations, eagerly hoping everything will click. Life simply doesn't work that way. If I was a somebody to a nobody, I wouldn't care about some kid tryna make a magazine. I realize that after going through the road myself. If anybody ever happens to ask me for a favor, I'm going to put an earnest effort into whatever it is.
Next, don't waste money. Man, if I had saved all the money I had spent on clothes over the year. Maybe things would look less jumbled.
Also, you're nothing unless people know your name. I'm nothing, the guy next to me is nothing, my neighbors are nothing. We've all achieved nothing. I'll be honest, looking at this blog and seeing my favorite artists names on the interview section has made me smile, sometimes made me cocky. I look at this today thinking, this is a blogspot. It's a simple blog. I've gained nothing but my satisfaction.
I get an email saying, "Can I see a example of your work."
I reply, "Quite honestly, I don't have any just yet. If my school newspaper and blog counts?" I scratched the last sentence and replaced it with this.
"Quite honestly, I don't have any just yet. This is an impulse. Pure impulse. Whether I succeed or not is based on how long the impulse can control my thoughts for. If you prefer to see my work, I'll get back to you whenever I get a respectable amount together."
Simple. I just stated the facts. Straight. No stupidity can pass the lines. I don't have anything to show. You want to take a risk and give me a shot, I make no promises about outcomes. I say, im going to give it my effort. If not I perfectly understand.
Lastly, people judge you by what your race is sadly, what you wear, and your speaking skills.
I remember a brief conversation I had with not one but quite a few people at Starbucks when I was working on APBio and mag stuff simultaneously.
"May I ask what you're doing?" Said some random white guy.
"See I'm actually trying to put a magazine together. It's called Full Circle."
"Oh how interesting! I notice you're taking APbio and look focused on what you're doing. By any chance are you Indian?"
"Thank you, and yes I am Indian."
"Wow! You're probably a stellar student in school, this should be no problem for you!"
"Actually it's a funny story about school, but what makes you say I'm a stellar student?"
Short pause.
"Uh, I don't know you just seemed the type."
"Here's the funny story. I defy every Indian stereotype you can throw at me. Especially about school. So please next time don't make assumptions. I'm an individual, don't throw me in with the crowd."
Man picks up his latte and leaves.
I'm stuck like wow really? I never knew people still do that. Geez, America's more messed than I thought.
What's worse is people judge you by what you wear. If I didn't dress decent. Have the people wouldn't give me the attention they have. I've experimented with it as well. I wore a teal button up to a formal dinner at my aunts place. All the new faces ignored me because my shirt color screamed childish and immature. I wore white next time and was approached by new faces multiple times. Hmm. Odd.
Then, how you talk. This is understandable.
I'm not good with social skills in certain situations. Matter of fact, whenever I meet someone important and know it I choke up and go stiff. When I casually meet someone I'm loose. It's strange. But I can't stress how important it is to just talk and be social, be likeable. And to refrain from swearing in public. Ever since I stopped running my loose toungue to elders, I can put up a fair arguement.
What the last three months taught me are a blessing that not many people get to see. I can't wait to see what the future holds. Good or bad, whether I get this project off or not. I am thankful for however far I may get even if it stops here. All the people in my life, everyone of you have made a difference.
&thankyou.
&fullcirclemagazine
&makinslowprogress
&somedayisthepromisedday

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPod touch]

The Endangered Species Clothing. (TES)

Randomly talked to a dude about streetwear and turns out hes a founder of a real intricate, conceptual brand. As the concepts are to unique for me to fully grasp and explain straight from his words the founder of The Endangered Species quotes below.
"The designs have a "human toy" theme. that's why you see the Chess piece, Marionette, Puzzle Pieces, and Pull string doll. The Pull-string doll comes with a Sharpie Laundry pen so you can "say what you want to say." The Chess piece is a little subtle...if you play chess, you might understand why he's standing in that square. With the puzzles, it was taken from a quote by Sartre: Man is nothing other than what he makes himself."
I worship uniqueness, so this was a intriguing background for me. Most brands have the usual, I skate, I listen to hip-hop typicality but this was a little away from the norm which is why you should cop some TES clothing.
Check out the E-Store here And if you're ever at Haight Street you can check them out at So*Me,D-Structure and now Lower Haters!
My two favorite designs.




Once again be sure to check out The Endangered Species website and E-Store to see what its about. Its always good to support down to earth people doing good work.
Thanks to the dude at TES for supplying me some good info. Much appreciated.

New Blu&Exile!

Been wanting to post this for a couple weeks. But kept slippin' up with more important stuff popping up. This video isn't the best quality, matter of fact, I can't comprehend a lotta the words cause this video is that unclear. However, IT DOESN'T MATTER! The point is that Blu&Ex are back at it again with a new prospect. A new album, hmmm hopefully soon? Too hard for me to tell thus far.
Enjoy.

Godbless you uncle.

A moment to acknowledge someone I respect that passed last night due to liver cancer. He was in excrutiating pain on his bed at home, hardly concious. Excuse my writing. I'm expressing whatever my thoughts feel in no order no format.
When I went to go visit him last week these are some thoughts that hit me.
I stepped into the Fremont apartment, it felt like it lost a bit of its luster.
He was always a man of vast knowledge with books all over the shelf yet today, the books seemed a bit lessened.
Highly organized usually but there were bills on the table with his glasses lying there in a dangling fashion.
In other words as soon as I stepped in I could see the unusual things appearing.
I could hear the life support machine from his room, a horrendous sound.
Immediatly, it hit me. This was real. My uncle, who has been nothing but good to me is paining in the other room.
To gather myself, I murmered a quick prayer under my breath then rose to my feet. I prayed for him.
As I inched up towards his door, I could feel the tragic energy and the sounds became unbearable.
I stopped and hesitated right outside the door. Moments passed but I felt like it was too unfortunate for me to see.
There was a mirror.
I made a quick look in the mirror to see him laying on his bed, breathing heavily, all the medical equipment attatched and suddenly looked away. It was a drastic step further from what I thought it would be.
I briskly turned around and made myself back away to the main room. My eyes were full of emotion.
What just happened was indescribable.
To cover my eyes and attempt to be strong for all my family there, I reached in my pocket to get my sunglasses.
Nothing was to be found, I must have forgotten them in the car.
The feelings were rushing from my head to my eyes now. I could feel a river of emotion flooding my head about to break the frail leevey my eyes had.
I hopped out the chair got my shoes on and stepped outside.
I wasn't strong enough.
This was a true tragedy.
Someone who had been so humble, helpful, down to earth having to go like this.
That's a thought that rips my heart apart.
I roamed the apartment building making a swift round to try to ease up. But could not shake the thought.
This is something I have to ponder upon. It's only right.
Came back outside the apartment to see my aunt outside.
I could read her face, it was paining just as much as mine with sorrow.
We siliently acknowledged how unfortunate this was by mere eye gestures.
All this time I was thinking about how tremendous of a man he was. Self made. Intellectual. Highly educated. Humble. Simple. Teacher. Guardian. Helping hand.
Amazing.
I went down to my moms Honda with her rapidly. Grabbed my glasses and threw them on. I had to be strong for her. I muttered another prayer.
And me? I hardly pray from the heart like this. Hardly. But this time I felt that compelling emotion. Like it was the only hope.
My moms reminisced.
I took it all in.
I hated seeing people in pain. I can't stomach it. When I saw my own uncle in pain, I felt an impossible to say feeling that I've never felt before.
Such a great man, such a sad story.
Godbless Uncle.
I love you.

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPod touch]