Thoughts

You know I've always wondered if it was possible. If one day, as a small project on the side if maybe I could start a magazine. Just a thought.
But the more I ponder upon it the more it unravels to be quite plausible.
The last three months, I have been discreetly working on a magazine. Taking baby steps, and sketching out a solid plan for my goal.
But as we all know, human nature makes it difficult to keep life according to plan. Unless of course you have rigor and discipline, which I cannot possibly have with my lifestyle.
The small things I've discovered.
Keep relations with everyone. I simply cannot emphasize how important this is. Social skills are the essentials to trying to start not just a magazine but anything. So many people I am thankful to have in my life are providing me with concise advice and supplying with aid. I love em to death for just being there and believing.
Which leads me to belief. Not one person on this earth that you don't know believes in you, and that's not them to blame. It's yourself. You can't go soaring into a project with high expectations, eagerly hoping everything will click. Life simply doesn't work that way. If I was a somebody to a nobody, I wouldn't care about some kid tryna make a magazine. I realize that after going through the road myself. If anybody ever happens to ask me for a favor, I'm going to put an earnest effort into whatever it is.
Next, don't waste money. Man, if I had saved all the money I had spent on clothes over the year. Maybe things would look less jumbled.
Also, you're nothing unless people know your name. I'm nothing, the guy next to me is nothing, my neighbors are nothing. We've all achieved nothing. I'll be honest, looking at this blog and seeing my favorite artists names on the interview section has made me smile, sometimes made me cocky. I look at this today thinking, this is a blogspot. It's a simple blog. I've gained nothing but my satisfaction.
I get an email saying, "Can I see a example of your work."
I reply, "Quite honestly, I don't have any just yet. If my school newspaper and blog counts?" I scratched the last sentence and replaced it with this.
"Quite honestly, I don't have any just yet. This is an impulse. Pure impulse. Whether I succeed or not is based on how long the impulse can control my thoughts for. If you prefer to see my work, I'll get back to you whenever I get a respectable amount together."
Simple. I just stated the facts. Straight. No stupidity can pass the lines. I don't have anything to show. You want to take a risk and give me a shot, I make no promises about outcomes. I say, im going to give it my effort. If not I perfectly understand.
Lastly, people judge you by what your race is sadly, what you wear, and your speaking skills.
I remember a brief conversation I had with not one but quite a few people at Starbucks when I was working on APBio and mag stuff simultaneously.
"May I ask what you're doing?" Said some random white guy.
"See I'm actually trying to put a magazine together. It's called Full Circle."
"Oh how interesting! I notice you're taking APbio and look focused on what you're doing. By any chance are you Indian?"
"Thank you, and yes I am Indian."
"Wow! You're probably a stellar student in school, this should be no problem for you!"
"Actually it's a funny story about school, but what makes you say I'm a stellar student?"
Short pause.
"Uh, I don't know you just seemed the type."
"Here's the funny story. I defy every Indian stereotype you can throw at me. Especially about school. So please next time don't make assumptions. I'm an individual, don't throw me in with the crowd."
Man picks up his latte and leaves.
I'm stuck like wow really? I never knew people still do that. Geez, America's more messed than I thought.
What's worse is people judge you by what you wear. If I didn't dress decent. Have the people wouldn't give me the attention they have. I've experimented with it as well. I wore a teal button up to a formal dinner at my aunts place. All the new faces ignored me because my shirt color screamed childish and immature. I wore white next time and was approached by new faces multiple times. Hmm. Odd.
Then, how you talk. This is understandable.
I'm not good with social skills in certain situations. Matter of fact, whenever I meet someone important and know it I choke up and go stiff. When I casually meet someone I'm loose. It's strange. But I can't stress how important it is to just talk and be social, be likeable. And to refrain from swearing in public. Ever since I stopped running my loose toungue to elders, I can put up a fair arguement.
What the last three months taught me are a blessing that not many people get to see. I can't wait to see what the future holds. Good or bad, whether I get this project off or not. I am thankful for however far I may get even if it stops here. All the people in my life, everyone of you have made a difference.
&thankyou.
&fullcirclemagazine
&makinslowprogress
&somedayisthepromisedday

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPod touch]